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LEGIONNAIRES #32
"Here and Now" (cover title "2-Timer")
An Underworld Unleashed "tie-in"

Plot/Script: Tom Peyer
Plot/Colors: Tom McCraw
Penciller: Jeffrey Moy
Inker: W.C. Carani
Letterer: Pat Brosseau
Asst. Ed.: Mike McAvennie
Head Honcho: KC Carlson

This Issue's Firesign Line: "All right - everybody into the Time Machine!"

Here's what I thought...

I thought it was a really nice idea to begin this issue with the Valor hanging thread. Chronos' aging/corrosion of the structural integrity of the Legion headquarters has given him an excuse to not only break his isolation but to do what he does best, as he saves a few of those... you know, the li'l guys, the costume designers... as well as those Legionnaires trapped under the rubble (very nicely done roll call framing. Everyone's okay except Chronos, who's turned to dust - note how Valor goes to Triad first. :)

Lori Morning aka Hockey Girl is all growed-up now, at least enough to cause Triad a bit of a jealous fit when Valor rescues her and converses with her in 20th century English. Chill, Lu - she still has the mind of a kid. Although I seem to recall as Valor has this thing for women named Lori, doesn't he... or was that a different retcon... hmm...

Lyle suddenly realizes Brainy's still trapped in the timestream, with the platform corroded, and proceeds trying to do something about it. He doesn't succeed. Meanwhile, news crews have arrived on the scene, and we hear a nice expository report from Brad Majors ("Asshole!" - whoops, sorry, time-warped into ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW mode for a moment there; kewl semi-obscure reference, Toms!). Elsewhere, in the undamaged monitor room, Vi fields flak from Brande and Chu and thinks of Zoe, which cue segues into Zoe's small spacecraft, adrift with life support and other systems offline, when suddenly it gets zapped... end of interlude, and we'll have to wait for future issues to pick up that plot.

Cos, Imra and Lori hike over to the Time Institute to consult with Rond Vidar, who looks good in green. Part of their conversation is overheard by one of Chu's SP spies, the dirty rat. Lori's monologues take care of the rest of the exposition and the Neron shoehorning, as well as having a little fun with readers who, like Rond, may be "totally lost" by the time paradox confusion in the last LSH.

The dirty rat crashes a VIP reception to speak with Madame Cleav-- er, Chu, who's pissed that the Legionnaires been messin' with the timestream against her orders. Meanwhile, Lyle messes with the timestream some more, much to Gim's dismay, and manages to hook into Brainy, who has apparently been taking elocution lessons from Zatanna, or maybe that dwarf in Twin Peaks. Before Lyle can rewind the tape and play it forward, SP troopers blast their way in, pull the plug and make things worse again. Thanks ever so for helping, guys. At least we get to see that Shvaugn Erin is more on the Legionnaires' side than the SPs' side now, in a nice bit of by-the-way character development. ŒBut all's not lost - Brainy's chronal pattern shows up at the Time Institute, and they've almost got him back, but... well, SP troopers blast their way in. I feel like I'm watching an episode of LAPD. A trigger-happy moron unleashes chronal energies which resurrect Chronos. Hey, whaddaya know, it's a comic book. :) Chronos is pissed about being dead. Cos and Imra try to keep him away from the time machinery whilst rescuing SP morons. Rond, Lori and chronally-displaced Brainy look on rather helplessly. Chronos resorts to tried-and-true tactics, whomps Rond out of the way and snatches his favorite blonde hostage.

But Brainy hasn't been idle, and figures if the 30th century folks can hear his voice, Imra should be able to read his thoughts. His plan is set in motion when Lori womps Chronos' foot and takes off. Cos magnetizes Chronos, pushes him toward Brainy, and...

They occupy the same time/space. I'm with Lori - "Eeewww!" Brainy has reasoned that proximity to Chronos' costume could kick him out of chronal displacement. I needn't tell you the result, need I? Everyone's impressed, especially Rond (standing there muttering, "once again, I am utterly confused out of my mind..."), except for the SP - who promptly take Brainy into custody, with Cos' gritted-teeth blessing. Brainy shouldn't have made that last "12th-level intellect" crack at him.

Have I mentioned the wonderful art yet? I know I haven't. It's become such a given in this book that I have to kick myself to remind myself not to take it for granted. A few too many wide-open mouths here and there, but overall perfect facial expressions. Not to mention the best panel layouts of just about any book at DC. Man, does this sort of thing help the story along. Hell, it tells the story almost as well as the narrative and dialogue. Bravissimo.

So, what did y'all think?

SCARLET THUNDER #1

Writer: Dan Vado
Artist: Rick Forgus

This Issue's Firesign Line: "Who wonna Second-a World-a War, you so smart?"

Here's what I thought...

Because this review came so late, I admit to "cheating" a little and skimming Dave Van Domelen's wonderful review of it (which I usually try not to do until after I've reviewed something, so that others' opinions won't sway me in any direction). Dave has a great theory of what the title "Scarlet Thunder" means - he says it doesn't refer to a speedster in red breaking the sound barrier but to the blood pumping faster and faster in the protagonist's heart as he deals with the ever-increasing strain his powers are putting on his system. I really, really like this.

It seems like there used to be only a few ways one could write about superfast characters. The speed was not only the gimmick, it was the whole point. But in recent years we've seen a variety of speedsters handled quite differently by the likes of Peter David (X-FACTOR's impatient and arrogant Pietro), Kurt Busiek (the badly-drawn, frightened womanchild VELOCITY) and of course Mark Waid (who has tackled everyone from Jay Garrick to Bart Allen and given them all distinct personalities). For these writers, speed has been more than anything else a catalyst through which their characters work out (or don't work out) the other things going on in their lives.

The central conflict of SCARLET THUNDER is a rivalry between the two volunteers in the U.S. government's secret "Mercury Project" - our protagonist, Adam Garrison, and "the other fastest man on Earth," Jason Pine. Garrison tells us that the obsessive Jason "may have been faster, but he was unfocused - a trait I found very exploitable." For his part, Adam's unable to control his constant goading of Jason, which he occasionally realizes works to his and Jason's detriment but for which he's not yet ready to take personal responsibility ("Darn, why did I say that? I swear Jason brings out the worst in me..."). The rival personalities are handled well, there are a number of different plots set in motion (we learn more about the people behind the "Mercury Project," their interpersonal and their hopes for what they believe is the imminent US entry into WWII - the only person not fleshed out at all, sadly, appears to be the token female, Dotty), and we're even given a couple clues as to how things may turn out (Adam saying he was one of the fastest men on Earth "for a while" certainly presages the eventual loss of his powers, foreshadowed in this issue).

The art is very evocative of the era, half art-deco and half block- figures. It reminded me a lot of SILENT INVASION (even though that series took place in the '50s). The writing was a bit obvious in a few panels, but not so much as to jar one out of the story. I'm not sure if I like the idea of a pacifist being set up as a bad-guy bomber - it's rather a contradiction in terms to have pacifists bombing things - but I'm certainly intrigued enough to keep getting the title.

Looks like, between this, REPLACEMENT GOD and SKELETON KEY, Amaze Ink (an imprint of Dan's Slave Labor company) is turning out some of the best new Œcomics around. I highly recommend their whole line.

And as a very minor point, I highly recommend a better proofreader to Dan. If you ever misspell "its" again, my friend (page 3, last panel), I'll give you such a pinch... :)

So, what did y'all think?

THE LAST AVENGERS STORY
A Marvel Alterniverse title
Book 2 of 2

Story: Peter David
Artist: Ariel Olivetti
Letterer: Jim Novak
Logo: Todd Klein
Asst. Ed.: Nancy Poletti
Head Honcho: Marcus McLaurin

This Issue's Firesign Line: "You may already have won - you may already *be* there!"

Here's what I thought...

I had a feeling this wouldn't exactly end happily, and I was right. I can't lie and say it was a satisfying read, since so many characters end up sacrificing themselves, but it did have the expected sense of closure, even though I felt the sense of hope that cam with that closure (i.e., the final full-page panel revelation that Captain America, like some sort of messianic figure, watches over the other superheroes and will someday return to save them and the rest of humanity) rang a bit false.

And I suspect my problem with (both parts of) this book stems largely from my unfamiliarity with the characters in the Marvel Universe. I don't know why I didn't have the same problem with MARVELS; maybe because the kinds of things with which Kurt dealt there are also echoed in his more recent explorations into archetypes in his current ASTRO CITY series, and archetypes are easier to grasp than very specific characters with very specific histories. (Or it could be because Kurt also tends to focus on the feelings of "ordinary people" more often than those of superheroes, and I can resonate more with that than with a bunch of supers.) I have no emotional attachment to the Vision, for instance, so can't understand why the others would view him as such a savior. I don't know any of the villains, so the confrontation between the Grim Reaper and his brother (whom I also don't know) has little meaning for me. I have to treat the story for what it is on the surface, without the added bonus of Marvel knowledge that many readers probably take for granted.

So it's a depressing story. There's lots of fighting, there's lots of dying, and the one character in whom I was really, really interested, Marissa Storm, winds up wracked with guilt over her pacifism - as a pacifist myself, this rather disgusts me. I think it would have been nice for Johnny to find her in that closet, admit to her that he was wrong, that based on all he'd seen it would have been futile for her to fight and die like every single other second-generation super died, and that he was proud of her courage in not fighting. But of course, that would be a far different book. This book was about how noble it is to fight and die. The villains are eventually defeated, but the heroes learn nothing. They're still reactive, the same way they were at the beginning of the book. There are no lessons imparted (at least that I could see), no real joy or comfort. Just bleakness. And that's not why I read a comic.

Maybe others more enamored of these characters' history read a different message. I sincerely hope others came away from this book more uplifted than me. Just because I didn't care for the plot doesn't mean it wasn't well written or drawn - it just means that I kind of wonder why I've spent twelve bucks not to be entertained.

So, what did y'all think?

[I've received a number of review copies from folks lately, and thought I'd do a sort of combined Pen-Elayne on 'em. Hope the people involved don't mind me bunching all this stuff together.]

PRIMITIVES #3 (SpareTime Studios)

I got an ashcan, so it doesn't have a credits page with people's full names and contributions, which I apologize for not remembering (my copies of #1 and 2 are filed away).

Writer: Campbell
Artist: Larry Merrill
Other stuff (um, inking and lettering?): Addlesee, Wong

One of the most common recurring fantasies that I'm sure most progressive folks share (especially if they're also fans of science fiction) is the intriguing notion of beings from beyond coming to Earth to save us from ourselves - in fact, sometimes when "la lucha" starts to looking too hopeless and tiring, it's hard to imagine another way to take care of the Œmany ecological and social dilemmas in which we currently find ourselves. Another very fashionable fantasy revolves around the measure of aboriginal instinct that we imagine we've lost as "civilization" has taken its course through the centuries - this manifests itself most obviously in the misbegotten idea of the "noble savage" but you also see it crop up in many modern goddess- or nature-centered religions.

Thus, it's a doubly good premise to combine the two fantasies. This book deals with five Neanderthals who are abducted by aliens and return to a very different (and disappointing) Earth centuries later, much more socially advanced than their "descendants." So far they've managed to divest us of many of our nuclear weapons, with the usual chaotic and panicked reactions ensuing. They've also become visible, even minor media stars, to the general public.

This issue sees the five start to "infiltrate" modern human society for the purpose of sharing advanced technology and helping us help ourselves, rather than getting themselves into a situation where modern Earth folks would be dependent upon them. One can't help but wonder to what extent this absolute power will corrupt and seduce them as the line they draw between them and their descendents thins ever more...

Good concepts, becoming much better executed as the series goes on. I saw an "untoned" version so I'm not sure whether Larry's art gains more perspective in the final version - I hope it does, because it looks pretty flat in the ashcan version.

I'm not at all sure about the last (full-page) panel, though - seems there's a much-too-busty, nasty female with a form-fitting outfit on board the "primitives'" vessel. I suppose this also explains the nekkid female figure we see (from the back) the "primitives" staring at (from their front) on the issue's cover. This echoes one of the problems I had at the book's start - this book is definitely about white (or proto-white) men saving white men from themselves. Dames need not apply. Unless they wear form-fitting outfits or exist stand there naked and be stared at (thus belying any credibility they might have as dynamic creatures of action, the way the "primitives" are portrayed). This is in large measure where many of the progressive movements of the '60s failed, I think (viz the oft-quoted line about the best position for a woman in the revolution being "prone"). Please, guys, prove me wrong about this.

BLEAT #1 (Slave Labor Graphics)
"The magazine for the discriminating adult biped"

by Basilio Amaro

Not too many indies around (at least that I've seen) combine short slice-of-life pieces (the longest clocks in at 6 pages) with commentary text pages on chilis and homebrewing, but the Silicon Valley area (San Jose, to be specific) seems to bring out this sort of thing. Baiz's work features a few angry guys with less than satisfying love lives and a bit short on social skills (his stuff here reminds me a lot of Evan Dorkin's work), an angry gal who takes matters into her own hands to stop the encroachment of franchise food, and a few moderately amusing pages all about Our Online Friends (I found some of the observations accurate, but most way exaggerated... then again, I may be lucky enough to be friendlier with online folks who do have lives...).

To be honest, I would probably not have picked up this comic on my own, but it wasn't a bad read at all. The only thing that turned me off a bit, because I imagine it's one of my "hot buttons," is Baiz' attitude towards fat people - he uses the word "fat" like it's a bad thing. Baiz, lemme clue you in - there are just as many thin & lazy people out there as well, and one's physical appearance has little to do with one's internal motivation or external abilities. Fat jokes seem to be the last "acceptable" prejudice, and nobody likes to have prejudice directed at them (Baiz's observation about online newbies is a good case in point).

My favorite part of the whole book was the touching prose piece on the back cover, entitled "A Letter to a Friend." Make of that what you will.

THE X-FLIES SPECIAL (Twist and Shout Comics)

Editor/Cover colorist - Mike Meyer
with contributions from: Rich Johnston, Dave Law, Fabian Nicieza, Scott Saavedra, Gary St. Lawrence and Bebe Williams

This is really cool - most of the contributors are online, and half of them post pretty often in the rac* groups, so it's somewhat of a treat to see them all let loose together in this very funny mishmash of a book.

A quick rundown: The title story (Mulder and Scully as flies, duh) has a great self-mocking sense of humor, some atrocious puns (yay!) and... uh, characterization! Yeah, that's it, characterization. It's very cute. Maybe a page or two too long, but definitely made me smile a lot.

Williams' story, "Bobby Ruckers," is fumetti. I don't know why, but I detest fumetti. I guess it's okay, but I'm the wrong person to ask.

I was most blown away by Fabian's Life Bytes tale, "Marcie's Underwear." This story marks Nicieza's debut as a penciller, and he does a very nice job of it. The tale is very reminiscent of the "Wonder Years" kind of stuff that can be found in placs like SHADES OF GREY - just ordinary kids going through "the rocky road of puberty." Apparently Fabian's brain is still X-fried enough that he feels he needs a Special Powered Character to help our protagonist with his dilemma - I would have much preferred Our Hero Cary talking to an older sibling or even a neighbor, as I think "Diggo" was pretty unnecessary, but perhaps Fabian thought it added to Cary's character development. I will say that I would love to see more Life Bytes adventures.

Saavedra's story, "Priorities," disappoints because it's a reprint, and I've already read JAVA TOWN.

Nice to see my old apa friend Dan Duncan doing the pencilling chores on Law's "My Life Among the Humans - five panels put an amusing spin on the typical "captured alien" scenario. I don't know how much of a story merits "to be continued," though.

Sorry Rich, but as I don't read "Dirtbag" the 7-page excerpt here made very little sense to me. And "Foetal Attraction" was... well, not to my tastes. Your reminiscence of "A True X-Files Story" was very funny, though.

Hmm, at $2.95... yeah, I'd say it was worth it. I found the first half of the book much stronger than the latter part. However, even the book's weaker half may look very, very good in retrospect if Mr. Meyer follows through on his threat to allot some space in the future to whatever twisted things are flying around in This Reviewer's brain. Tremble in fear, dear readers - perhaps some Truths are better left Out There.

So, what did y'all think?