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Reviewed herein: APOKALIPS: DARK UPRISING APOKOLIPS--DARK UPRISING Writer: Paul Kupperberg The New Gods created by Jack "King" Kirby This Issue's Firesign Line: "You ain't got no friends on your left!" "You're right!" "You ain't got no friends on your right!" "You're left!" Here's what I thought... Well, the Great Wootinie promised me some primo Female Furies herein, and I didn't quite get enough of 'em, but that's just me. Onward, then, to the pseudo-review, and get ready to audibly gasp as I say... This is one of the best things Paul Kupperberg has written in many a moon. I adore Paul as a person, even though the one time we met a couple weeks back I discovered he apparently still harbored a grudge against me for some assumed insult I'd hurled his way re: THE CRUSADERS. What was that, three years ago or something? I didn't even know what he was talking about... But I digress. Paul has, over the years, been much maligned in the fan press for his writing and editing style, and I've often wondered if it wasn't, as Paul has sometimes intimated, a result of not having been assigned popular and high-profile books and concepts with which to work. Well, he's now editing WONDER WOMAN and, from all accounts, doing a good job of it (although I'm sure opinions vary as to the Kupperberg/Byrne balance of power on that one), and there's nothing with higher visibility at DC nowadays than a combination Fourth World/Underworld Unleashed tie-in. And I think he rises quite nicely to the task. APOKOLIPS (and I must admit I keep misspelling it, putting an "a" after the "k"): DARK UPRISING deals with what happens in the aftermath of NEW GODS #2, with Darkseid MIA at the least, possibly dead. Paul gives ample background to Fourth World newcomers (really nicely complete) on how things came to be where they are, and the major players to watch as events unfold. The only thing I'm not sure I quite buy is the insertion of Neron. Now, I realize it's a UU tie-in, and that's probably the main reason it's even been published in the first place, and it's not the Neron is really shoehorned in, exactly - and it's kinda fun to watch how he plays all sides against each other - but I question how necessary his presence really is. I think it tends to take away from the powers of terror that these Dark Gods possess in the first place. I don't know that, as Neron says, Apokolips is "so very ripe for the chaos it so richly deserves" at his hands; I think Granny Goodness, Doctor Bedlam, Desaad and others can create chaos enough on their now that Darkseid's order has been disturbed. But he's in the plot, so let's make the best of it. And I think it's a dandy plot. First of all, this big ol' 40-page baby has got a prologue and four chapters, and the tale is pretty much self-contained (although I'm sure aspects of it will continue in the regular NEW GODS book and elsewhere). Secondly, with a few exceptions in dialogue and narration here and there (Granny Goodness wouldn't say "okay", and you don't want to use contractions like "that's" if the rest of your narration is grandiose in scope), everyone pretty much played in character for me, and it was fun to watch their machinations. Sure, they were predictable in places; that's part of the fun for me. The subplot of the Hunger Dogs' rebellion, with specific focus on the Hunger Dog named Targa and his background and motivations, held my interest as much as, if not more than, the main arena. I hope this is followed up on by Peyer, Pollack & company; one of the best aspects to me of the Apokolips-centered Fourth World books was the focus on the people who were able to survive and rise above Armagetto and Granny's orphanage and other such hells. In Darkseid's absence, the sides are initially drawn of Granny on the one end, with Baron Vundabar as her right-hand man, and Desaad in the camp of Kalibak (I thought he was dead; who can keep track?), who is acting as his father's regent. The players gather to exchange snarls. Enter Neron, freaking out Desaad (I dunno about this; I thought Darkseid was the only one able to freak Desaad out, but evidently he's been retconned into a much more snivelling and spineless being, which works some of the time and unnerves some of the time). The players are receptive to whatever it is Neron has to say, to which we're not privy. Page 13 offers us our only glimpse of the Female Furies. Artemis is still one of them; never cared for her. Oh well. They pretty much just stand there, though. The only one we see after this posing tableau is Lashina, who later defends Granny from Kanto's treachery and gives Raffaele a chance to draw her with her ass sticking out in Image-like exploitation mode (it's even worse on the 2-page spread of pp. 33-34). This Furie Fan was underwhelmed. Note to artist: Cut it out. And women's thighs are not bigger than their waists. Please make a note of it. It should probably go without saying that the coloring was gorgeous. I liked this a lot. I liked Paul's writing much more than I thought I would. I thought it preserved Kirby's legacy and moved it along nicely on the grand scope it deserved. So, what did y'all think? LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES #74 Scripter/Co-Plotter: Tom Peyer This Issue's Firesign Line: "You have violated Robot's Rules of Order and will be asked to leave The Future immediately..." Here's what I thought: Is Superboy really this dense? I mean, I know he's having trouble in school and all, and time travel is disorienting, but... I dunno, he kinda played up the Stoopidboy thing to the hilt here. Brainy's wrong to be arrogant, but he's almost right to be pissed. And SB counters his nice, calm, rational, insufferable explanation of Where They Are and Why with, "You geek!" Hey Johanna, aren't you the one who keeps telling me "geek" is actually a compliment now? :) He did get a nice line in, "This is what I get for trusting a kid named Braniac!" Cos promises to keep order, and asks Triad to show the lad around. She must, and yet she cannot. She duo-splits, furious with herself. Imra gives up trying to probe SB's mind for the stasis ray specs since the Kid overheard the word "lust" in connection with Lu-purple. Lu-mixed slaps Lu-purple, while Lu-orange appears in the next panel behind Lu-mixed, trying very hard not to take sides. Cos suddenly catches on that, if Triad can't keep herself together over her religious beliefs concerning Valor, it's probably a good idea to keep this project hush-hush. Cham chaperones SB and Lu-purple around the place, meeting up with Vi in the monitor room (nice to see the Enterprise doing okay, I thought they kept blowing that up), where Supes' loose lips sink, well, we have yet to see how many sink on this one. Yes, I crossed my eyes for the stereogram on the opposite page. Yes, the letters read "Mallrats." No, I wouldn't have known had they not told me - I can see stereograms, just can't read 'em. (Well, if Joanna can review ads, so can I! <g> ) Something Brainy's working on blowed up real good. Poof. (Okay, Kissshh!) He needs better - er, make that worse equipment. Something more primitive (let's hope it's not so primitive it needs to be plugged in...) He's going to Korr. Word gets out, as word will. Leviathan doesn't like SB. The Kid doesn't give him much of a reason too. Ever notice how lots of people spend lots of time in the two Legion books not liking each other? There's a thump on the hull; SB and Lyle go investigate. It's Jo-nah, slugging SB - but Lyle's suddenly there to prevent this from becoming two-guys-slug-it-out-and-then-team-up... I mean, that's so 20th century. So they don't slug it out, and team up. Or go inside the ship together, or something. The Kid realizes he has a big mouth. Madame President is pissed royally. At home with the Ranzzes, Ayla and Garth pretend, very badly, not to care. Meanwhile, the ship has arrived on Korr, and find out that the collector of ancient equipment is in fact one of SB's nemeses (how convenient), Scavenger. The years have, to put it mildly, not been kind to the Scavman. Some of you are gonna have a ball informing us exactly whose weapons Scavenger uses against the Legion. So far I count Fate's helmet (gosh, it's a helmet again? I must keep better track of these things), Blue Devil's trident (which SB might as well break, considering the "current" position of Mr. Cassidy vis a vis the DCU), Mr. Miracle's aero-discs and my favorite, the Philosopher's Stone. Which puts most of our heroes in quite a pickle. (Thank goodness that, as Mr. Chary always says, when there's no one there, it's Norg. Yeah, he got Faassh'ed when he dropped Fate's helmet, but page 17 is the last we see of him...) Plot moves right along very nicely. Don't care for Moder's art - everyone's faces get very gaunt and older-looking, and SB looks like he's trying out for the part of Starman Jr. Pretty standard panel layouts for this crew, surprisingly. (But the establishing shot of Scav's newfound treasure trove on page 15 - that panel was very keen.) The colors were primo, as always. And I know I'm leaving out lots of stuff. So, what did y'all think? NEW GODS #2 Writers: Tom Peyer and Rachel Pollack The New Gods created by Jack "King" Kirby This Issue's Firesign Line: "They're in everybody's eggs." Here's what I thought... We open with a close-up of Metron feeling the effects of the last panel of issue #1. It's not a pretty sight. He knows too much. Jolted out of his Moebius chair, Metron loses it for a couple pages. Highfather tries to calm him down with the Wonderstaff, but those awful red Apokaliptian tones and black dots surrounding the staff don't bode well for its healing powers. Metron staggers back into his Moebius chair and, once more in control, reveals what has happened, as we cut to the charming father-son tableau on the splash page - Darkseid calm and towering in the background, Orion angry and and clenched in the foreground. Roll credits. Within a page, Darkseid has goaded Orion into revealing his "true self, the vicious beast I sired!", but a bright red dot with yellow background (as opposed to the black dots with red backgrounds) still remains, a mark upon his forehead bestowed by his New Genesis upbringing and the helmet he's just tossed aside. Will this mark protect him? The battle not only rages, it goes cosmic. In a big way. The combatants become constellation-like, taking over just about everything. The "City Gods" feel the scope of things change, and Highfather briefly loses it (he is, after all, still holding the tainted staff); the "Country Gods" - sorry, the "Primitives" (gods drawn like Image characters? but at least the guys don't have a lot on either) feel it knocking at the Source Door; and even the anthropomorphic furries on Apokalips feel it, as lethargy descends. The battle plays itself out on Earth and other planets (tell me the mother didn't do that to her baby, please tell me - I felt this page was just a bit much for me). Darkseid taunts Orion some more, who responds by becoming Darkseid. The mark of protection remains, however, as Orion/Darkseid tries hara-kiri and only succeeds in shattering the Darkseidian reflection around him (while the "real" Darkseid watches from the other side of the mirror - hey, how'd they suddenly get in a castle-like structure - torch on the wall and all?) which splurtch'es and thrutch'es up, backgroundless once more, as Darkseid himself, who proceeds to taunt once more. To defeat him (and it almost seems like Darkseid... wants Orion to defeat him by this point), Orion must find "the source of the beast" - it lies, of course, within. A couple very icky but effective panels ensue. Darkseid drops, apparently dead. Orion drops, dot momentarily gone for a couple panels - but then his formerly-protected forehead hits the - floor, there's a floor again? - once more and activates a Mother Box, which boom-tubes him out into space. And he floats there still. For the next 30 days, at least. After the "what has gone before" box (and good for whoever made the decision to run this - is it standard now? I read so few lettercols), the Mighty Wootinie greets us, especially me, with a big surprise: My letter actually made it. I didn't even know I wrote Chris a letter. I mean, yeah, I remember the post I did here, but this was... a very nice surprise. Thanks Wootinie! May I make one small suggestion, though? You might want to tighten the editing a tad - nobody outside of a small circle of friends is even going to get the Stepford Chary reference. Although it tickled me like hell to see it in there. And a kewl plug for the Jack Kirby Collector (whose editor, the magnificent John Morrow, did a great job of turning my drivel on the Female Furies into a halfway decent-reading article in issue #6). Chris mentions the appearance of the FF in UU crossover APOKOLIPS--DARK UPRISING (which I'm going to review tomorrow, I'm exhausted now - they really only appear for a couple panels or so, folks...), promises we'll see Kevin Dooley try his hand at Scott and Barda free soon (Mommy, I'm a'scared), then prints Abhay's cool letter too! Woo-hoo, a racdu letter column! :) Well, I'm having fun. But I love seeing my name in print, so I'm pretty easy to please anyway. :) (Seriously, I like this book a lot so far.) So, what did y'all think? THE POWER OF SHAZAM! #9 Writer: Jerry Ordway This Issue's Firesign Line: "All for one, and all for one! Let me hear it for me!" Here's what I thought... On the whole, I really didn't care for this issue. I found much of what happened plot-wise of enough interest to keep buying the book, and there were a lot of cute moments - I think most of them involve clever dialogue spouting from Mary (at one point when Freddy's out of control and beating up on Captain Nazi, when CM and MM chase them with CM holding special restraints, MM asks "Just one thing - who are you planning to use those on? Freddy or Captain Nazi?") - but overall I was underwhelmed. I thought the dialogue choppy or clunky in too many places. The art was, for me, much better, probably because Krause wasn't doing kids' faces all that much. The "innocent bystander dialogue" was almost insufferable (is that a cameo by Walt Simonson on the bottom left panel of page 2, possibly the cheesiest panel dialogue in this big-red- cheesy issue?). I found the Wizard's exposition pages more clumsy than any exposition I've ever read from Christopher Priest :) (for those of you familiar of how I tend to tweak Priest on that subject). The plot is fine - the subplot with Sinclair is especially intriguing, and I like the revelation that "losing her inhibitions" makes Mary "an unbeatable foe" - and the panel layouts are nice and dynamic (again, the improved art helps). But I didn't enjoy this enough to give it an "A", and that's probably the fault of the dialogue. What I found most fascinating was Chris going into (after mock-apologizing and giving lame excuses as to why there's no letter column this issue) the process of how the book is put together. Plot first, then pencils, then dialogue. I'm not saying this makes the dialogue an after-thought, mind you, but I think it makes a difference in how the book affects me as a reader. As I say, the plot is tight enough and the art is well done, but I just couldn't get into the dialogue. Interesting that it's lettered before it's inked. I would have guessed it's the other way around for many comics, but I can see this. And if Chris thinks "Y25 R25" is "an arcane system of color codes that only a few understand," I'd hesitate to introduce him to the wonderful world of CMYK and PMS. I found Chris' little tour, while instructive, a little condescending. I don't read a comic to be talked down to. Nice, dynamic cover, as usual. So, what did y'all think? STARMAN #13 Writer: James Robinson This Issue's Firesign Line: "No, no, no, you don't understand how radio works!" Here's what I thought... I wish I hadn't filed my last issue of STARMAN. The opening of this issue is a direct parallel - everything through page 5 is Rashomon'ed, and I wanted to see how closely. Doesn't really matter, just one of those neat little things to do... Loved the conversation between Jack and Ted about Ted's favorite artist. Also loved the exchange between Grundy and Michael. Just like the two conversational pairs we followed last time, about this time. Although, wasn't it Jack who first noticed Grundy and Michael missing, according to his remembrance? :) But on to Ted's day. Uncomfortable, cramped and crowded page 6. Perfect for the feel of the hectic police station. And a nice counterpoint to page 7 - as everything subtly slows down... I thought the sudden shifting to black and white was marvelous. Really, really effective. Especially while Ted's hand is touching his radio. Back to the days of radio, to the days of b&w. The days when Ted was, and is, young again. I don't know much about the Villain Du Jour, Dr. Phosphorous, or how Neron'ed up he is here as compared to the way he used to be. I'll leave that for better historians than I'll ever be. But Ted was marvelous. On home turf. And almost always in control of the situation, no matter how it looked to Dr. P (but it doesn't look that way to us - in almost all the panels Ted is shown as dynamic, as moving or gesturing forward, while Dr. P leans back or at angle. Always drawn as slightly more hesitant. Good effect. (See, I'm starting to learn how to read art better... <g>) Page 20 - The villain properly vanquished, Ted turns on the tee-vee. The b&w days of radio are over, the days of yellow lights and the blue glow of the picture tube have returned, and Ted slumps/leans backward in his chair, rubbing his temples in fatigue and... age. A beautiful coda to the segment that began on page 7. He shouldnae tuned in and turned on, because the news is not good. And Jack's still missing. Ted looks up at us, spying at him from the ceiling, and asks us where the hell he is. The papers by Ted's up-on-the-desk right foot ask us if we know where the hell Michael is, by reminding us of the work Ted's been doing with Michael. The "NEXT" caption asks us where the hell Opal City is. I can barely keep track of where I am after reading this. :) Looking forward to the letter column, which I have to keep reminding myself to read. Comments on that later, perhaps. So, what did y'all think? [Thanks to Mike Kelly for suggesting that I preface "Pen-Elayne" with the comic name and issue number instead of the other way around... I've also added a few other features for your reading pleasure...] TALES OF THE MARVELS: WONDER YEARS Writers: Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning Firesign Line This Issue: "I mean, in whose movie?" "This is no movie, this is real." Here's what I thought: Every now and then I pick up a comic that hits me in a place I thought I'd hidden away forever. This one knocked me square in the head and heart and never let go. (god, I sound like such a quote whore!) True confession time: I came of age in the late '60s, early '70s, and I was a major, major David Cassidy fan. All the while, I realized I was in love, essentially, with a media-manufactured image, not a real person. But I couldn't help it. I felt like... well, I felt like Cindy Knutz. Cindy has followed Wonder Man to El-Lay, has hooked up with his local fan club chapter there, and has a wondrous story to tell them of how she came to be where she is... and holding Simon's shades. It was a sign, you see. They called it Red Ronin, but it was a sign. All that red. (None of it credited to anyone, by the way - did Kordey color his own art? Would have been nice to know) The red in his uniform as he saved her from its approach, and whispered to her, "Be brave." The red in his eyes as she found him later, wind knocked out of him, and removed his glasses to see if he was okay. And found the glasses, the red glasses, still in her hands as he flew off. Red for danger - red for the anger burning in her as she left the only kind of life she'd known in Jersey (red in her father's nose and face as he yelled at her that she wasn't going anywhere), the dirty red sunsets, for the too-bright yellows of the City of Lost Angels. Determined to return his glasses, and receive the bounty of his love in return. Red for her personal flag of bravery. Bernie Sedaka, the president of the Wonder Fans club (and someone who looks and acts little too much like I did at that age for me to be completely comfortable reading her) plots and plans with Cindy to bring Simon to speak at their next club meeting. They also decide to scope out the Avengers' West Coast mansion. Bad, bad things happen. All you WONDER MAN readers, you know the story. I don't have to retell it. I don't want to retell it. That's Simon's story. This is Cindy's. I'm sorry to be so nonlinear, but this book dredged up a whole stinkin' ball of adolescence for me, and I'm still not fully ready to deal with it. Oh, I've had my chance at meeting my one-time idol - a few times in fact. Cassidy and I even have mutual friends. But I made the decision, unlike my former penpal from Greece who hung out each night she was in New York by the stage door entrance when he was on Broadway recently, and bought front-row tickets for each night (yep, we're talking at least $60 a pop here, folks), that I was going to separate my fantasy from reality. I've seen what happens to people who can't. So I've never met him. But that's me, not Cindy. And this is Cindy's book. I'm frankly surprised that two apparent men (I don't know either Abnett or Lanning, and these days just about any name has been used for either gender :) ) can write the pathos and throes of a post- adolescent woman child this well. The art is almost up to Alex Ross potential, high praise indeed, but it would have been nice (once again) to credit the colorist. I'm frankly sick of the gimmicky plastic-type cover, but I understand why they stuck it on, and if it helps to sell this title so much the better. If you resonate with anything I've said so far, buy this book. So, what did y'all think? Writer: Dwayne McDuffie Firesign Line This Issue: "...followed by Strangers At Our Door, and I Came From Outer Space..." (I couldn't not do a Firesign Line This Issue, considering both Dwayne and Matt subscribe to my newsletter... :) ) Here's what I thought: This title gets the 99¢ "Reader's Choice" price tag this month, and I sincerely hope folks will be more tempted to buy it. The cover alone, by Howard Chaykin after Kane's BATMAN #1, is worth twice the price (hope you all scoped his cover on HARDWARE #33, after Lou Fine's HIT COMICS #10!). "Rocket, the Unwed Mother" indeed - heh. Dwayne & co. never receive enough praise for their much-appreciated practice of putting in "The Story So Far" notes on their first/credits page. This is extremely reader-friendly, and serves as a nice reminder to those of us with sieve-like brains who read way too many of these things to keep track of all of them that exactly anyway. :) Page 2 has some foreshadowing. In space no one can hear you say "Uh oh." Page 3 is full on Rocket, and she's gorgeous. Doc, I'm sure you get so tired of hearing praise heaped on you :), but I love what you do with Raquel. And Tanghal's an extremely nice inker for your style. Since this page is a lovely close-up of Raquel, we get to see her big brown eyes as she half-pouts up at Icon and asks to be whisked into space with him to defend her home planet on trial on Taldega. How can the big lug resist? Raquel talked him into being Icon; she could talk a stone into working up a good sweat. (Can we finally lay to rest who the subject of this book is, please?) Icon says yes (yay!) and Rocket goes off to arrange a long-term temporary sitter for little Amistad. It's Noble (yay!), who's really starting to live up to his name more and more. The expression on his face when Raquel asks him to watch the baby is wonderful - such absolute joy. Great stuff. Then Raquel touches base with Darnice too, in the issue's best word balloon ("It's pretty simple, Darnice. I have to go in front of the outer space court and save the Earth but I don't want to tell my mom."), asking her to look in on Noble and Amistad and generally hold the fort down. We also learn by way of exposition that Raquel plans to return to school as soon as the current mess is over. Icon catches up with the girls, has a private moment with Darnice to thank her for filling in as Rocket and especially for her heroism in the Oblivion vs. Buck situation (a lovely scene which I won't spoil, read it yourself), and then hies to the 10th Ave. bridge to await his ride - a kewl ship, of course. Raquel gains some nicely-worded perspective on things, which being in space tends to do to one I suppose, but soon grows bored and searches out the food. This precipitates a fun scene wherein we learn about the ship's automatic technology and shake our heads at Icon's futile attempts to get Raquel to clean up her language. (BTW, I've noticed the mainstream DC universe now using the "shit squiggles," as I call them - a very utilitarian addition to word ballooning, of which the folks at Milestone ought to be mighty proud.) Raquel and Icon also talk of the kinds of things people do on his home planet - sounds like Utopia to me too. :) They're greeted at Taldega (not Arnus' home planet, as it turns out), where Raquel doffs the Rocket-shades and opens her eyes wide at the sight. Arnus II asks that Icon not put Rocket on the stand (her reply: "Don't talk about me like I'm not in the room!" nice). Rocket is not impressed. Icon reminds her Arnus II, while his clone, hasn't had his advantage of perspective. The next morning, we find Raquel busy using her room's auto tech to make gifts for Amistad. She's called into court, and the trial begins. The judge is seriously pissed about the Utopia Park situation, and it's all up to Raquel. Is there any doubt? You go, girl! Last page, same spoiler as first page, closer to home. Uh-oh. Relatively standard panel layouts, which vary nicely while they're in space. Superb writing from Dwayne, wonderful art as I said before - I mean, go wrong. Another excellent issue. So, what did y'all think? BATMAN & ROBIN ADVENTURES #1 Writer: Paul Dini Batman created by Bob Kane, and it's nice to see that mentioned here This Issue's Firesign Line: "They've got everybody's picture!" Here's what I thought... I was lucky enough to sit, with Johanna, in Scott Peterson's lovely office a couple weeks back, ogling his Mike Parobeck and Ty Templeton art. I found Scott to be one of the most enthusiastic editors I've ever met - he really, really loves his work. Reading this, I can see why. I told Scott I'd miss the hell out of Parobeck after THE BATMAN ADVENTURES ended its run prior to metamorphosing into this, but that I adore Templeton's work just the same. And Rick Burchett is still around to ink him. Medley does a terrific job on the colors, setting the moods just right with lots of navy blue offsetting the black in the night-time scenes and just a hint of red in the Joker's lower-lip when he stands in the shadow of his cell. Bitchin' coloring. And as for the new writer - what's to complain? I adored what Kelley Puckett did with TBA, but Dini - I mean, Dini's the head honcho of the whole thing in the first place. I mean, go wrong! I'm so delighted he's splitting his time between his writing chores for the animated series and for this comic book one. We're going to see such tightness, such complementary stuff, it's going to be a blessing. Hey folks, this is the guy who brought you MAD LOVE, after all. Our story concerns Harvey Dent, almost making it sane again - boy, if you want someone to get sane, you really ought to keep them away from the Joker, know what I mean? Like, transfer him from Arkham to some kind of halfway house. BTW, I loved the notion of the Joker causing trouble without having to break out of prison (of course, he has a little help from everyone's favorite, Arlene S-- I mean, our wonderful Harley, whom he reaches on a purloined cell-phone), just because he can. Just because it's a Tuesday and he's bored. Delicious. Bruce and Harvey's fiancee, Grace, have been visiting him regularly, Bruce paying for Harvey's treatments. He's just about ready for that operation, but Arkham forbid the Joker leave things alone. The scheme is that Harley pose as a paparazzi and get a photo of Bruce and Grace in a relatively G-rated compromising position (she kisses him on the cheek), hand it off to a gossip-columnist with a story about how they're engaged, and he can then watch the fireworks as Two-Face explodes at the first sight of the morning paper. It works well - and Harley gets her few moments in the spotlight with Batman and Robin. It's great how each of them recognize her voice - Batman by its unmistakable timber (I mean, honestly, who among us doesn't hear Arlene doing the voice as we read it?) and Robin by her use of the word "puddin.'" Terrific stuff. She gets away from them by calling on the "Babies!" (we all know what that means), and Two-Face gets away from Arkham by, as mentioned before, going a little berserk and overpowering the guards in his rage. The only thing I didn't like about this book was that it's "To be continued." I understand that, for Two-Face, a 2-issue story is just about mandatory (and that way he is featured in issue #2 after all), but one of the best selling points (and reading points) about THE BATMAN ADVENTURES was its single-issue storylines. Each issue could stand alone; there was no pressure to buy it continually. People bought the book because it was good, not because they had to in order to find out the end of the story. Scott, Paul & co., please consider returning to this format. It created much goodwill for the original series, and it's one of the many things that makes this book the only Batman book I, and countless others, bother to read. (And I say that knowing full well that Scott edits other Batman books...) So, what did y'all think? [This is my second attempt at writing and posting this pseudo-review; I hope I can remember to collect all my thoughts from the first time. Damn, I hate freeze-ups.] IMPULSE #8 Writer: Mark Waid This Issue's Firesign Line: "Pandemonium was breaking out all around me!" Here's what I thought... I didn't care for this issue very much. You can all pick your jaws up from the floor now. Thank you. Blockbuster and his goon squad, the Jerky Boys, arrange to blow up a dirigible, which drops into the middle of a crowded football stadium. They've already locked all the exits and entrances. No motivation is given - not in the beginning of the issue, not by the end. We have no idea why BB is doing this. That's only my first complaint. Meanwhile, Max arranges an obstacle course for Bart, in the only three pages to genuinely make me smile this time out. Bart jumps the gun, naturally. Max throws stuff at him, which he avoids, naturally. (The linear prograssion of this page was a little unclear to me; maybe it was supposed to be.) Of course, the lesson isn't over yet. "If you were finished, this would have been a finish line," Max quips, as Bart hangs upside down from a tree branch, hoisted on his own pet-- uh, big shoe by a rope around his foot. We learn here that Max's lessons are actually starting to sink in, as Bart says "This is the lecture that starts with 'I'm going to need you in the months to come,' and ends with no explanation why." At least Mark knows what his readers are thinking too. ;) Bart sees the smoke from Warrior Stadium, and rushes in to open the locked exits with the force of his speed, which apparently the World's Smartest Goon didn't think of. He's pissed, and takes it out on one of the Jerky Boys by blowing him up remotely via his watch. Takes a licking and keeps on Tkk'ing. We then cut to Blockbuster and Simon, a character who seems to exist solely as a plot device to bring up Neron's name, somewhat superfluously. BB decides to hit the streets in his spiffy green striped tie (green power ties seem to be a mandatory fashion statement for all UU crossovers this week :) ), where he towers over everything as his goons spread general havoc and a spray of bullets. Enter Bart, saving folks left and right as BB picks up a busload of innocents and dumps the bus on Bart. We don't actually know he's done this, because we don't see Bart half the time (bad panel planning, or deliberate speedster misdirection?) and we only see him vibrate through the front of the bus on the following page, just in time to follow BB's van back to his headquarters. Cue Peter Gabriel's song "Big." This place reminds me of that cool museum in SoHo where everything's oversized, or (for those of you my age) Land of the Giants. But BB finds it comfy and calls it home. He doesn't like Bart intruding, and proceeds to try to smash him as he spouts awkward exposition. For his part, Bart proceeds to trash the place, as we learn that BB made a boo-boo in asking Neron for brains... all he ever wanted was to be normal. Not give up his evil ways, mind you, just be normal. Aww. I feel for him. Not. Bart brings down the house, vibrates the hell out of there and dashes back home to find Max tuned into the speed force, looking for the guy he threw in there a few decades back about whom we won't be finding anything out until "Dead Heat." Sa-- er, the yet-to-appear villain in question ain't comin' out yet, but apparently he's pulled Max in, because Bart turns around and Max is gone. Bart is alone, in tatters, with company (in the form of cousin XS) on the way. Better send for take-out. The art is serviceable and highly professional, but very little of it evoked the feeling of laughter and joy within me that I'd come to expect from Ramos. The crafting is fine, but the writing is weak. I still don't know why BB wanted to trap Bart in the stadium. And I'm not sure I care. This issue is especially disappointing coming so soon after the fill-in of #7. Yes, perhaps this is one of the Seven Signs - a Waid- written comic for which (I'm slightly afraid to admit) I didn't particularly care. I hope those of you who've been ribbing me about this are happy now. I could stand to be a little happier myself, after this. So, what did y'all think? JUSTICE LEAGUE TASK FORCE #29 Writer: Christopher Priest aka "Jim" This Issue's Firesign Line: "If there are no eyes, avoid all contact" Here's what I thought... Well, Jim, "Meanwhile: Despero" has turned into more of a Logue than a Prologue, wouldn't you say? :) I really like the evolution of Desperon. Too bad he's leaving soon. I especially like L-Ron's visual representation of himself. Definite babe material. (I think I need to get out more and stop reading so many comics...)After Gammeron (wasn't he that turtle in the old Japanese movies? nah, that was Something Else <g>) stops Desperon in mid-judgement (actually, he'd already exacted judgement from some boo-hiss dolphin killers, whom he was in the process of trying to save when the Big G horned in on him and trapped him)... well, maybe it's before he stops Desperon. It's hard to tell which is the prologue... In any case, somewhere along the line, J'Onn pays G a visit. Turns out they're old intergalactic buds from J'Onn's Martian days. Seems they've known each other a good few hundred of years - a little less time than Vandal Sandwich and Neron have been acquainted, but time enough for G to actually get away with making nasty cracks about J'Onn's wife. "I know how to get to you. I know where you live." J'Onn's even more pissed now - he wants hands off Despy. No deal, says G-guy. Meanwhile, Triumph's still one pissed butthead. Mystek buzzes him, but he doesn't want to play. Witty dialogue ensues. Cut to Ray, still in Philly. Jim, when you get a moment, please explain this Philly thing. Who's in Colorado now, besides you? :) Only Happy? And Ray's still haunting your old haunts? Elayne's Brain Hurts. Anyway, I gotta say, the three pages wherein Will pays Ray a social call, offering him help against the Tuna Sandwich (which Ray declines), make up one of the best corporate office scenes I've ever read. I mean, you actually get the feeling something's going on, business-wise. Lots of guys in suits and ties being boring. Ray agonizing over deadlines. Will taking that hot tip to his stockbroker. It all rings very, very true, it gives things substance and weight. These people have actual corporate lives outside of superheroing. Nicely done. I also like Ray's musing about everyone wanting to be his dad, and about missing the TF. The big G's got Despy in a big truck. J'Onn tries to stop it, and it turns into a spaceship. Those Transformers toys are way cool. G gives him a punch right in his negative energy flux discharge; that's gotta hurt. L-Ron appears in babe-mode and asks the boys to stop fighting over him; he'll come willingly to stand trial on a distant planet for Despy's crimes. J'Onn promises to gather the troops on his behalf. Next issue we get to see the scene with the Oreos that Jim wrote for Us. :) Nice stuff, Jim. No awkward moments at all, and many well done ones. No complaints. Thanks for a good read. So, what did y'all think? [Note: I have been unable to retrieve the original review of L* #31 from Google's Usenet archives, so I've pieced together what I could from the responses to it.] LEGIONNAIRES #31 Co-Plotter/Scripter: Tom Peyer This Issue's Firesign Line: "That's longer than anyone's ever been gone before!" Here's what I thought... First off, I just wanted to heap tons more praise on Jeff Moy's pencils. I like his art style so much more than Moder's that it's like night and day to me here. As far as I'm concerned, Moy is the definitive Legion penciller, period. Wow, just look at that roll call. (Is that a thermometer in Brainy's mouth, or is he just happy to see us? Yes, I know, it's not a thermometer, but I couldn't resist.) Nice nod to Gabriel Garcia-Marquez. Yes, Johanna and everyone else who urged me to finally read 100 YEARS OF SOLITUDE, I will read it Real Soon Now, I promise. When we last left our intrepid heroes, a bunch of them and a transplanted-from-the- 20th-century Superboy were facing Scavenger and his newly-acquired collection of old superhero and supervillain artifacts. Philosopher's stone in hand, the wigged-out and totally paranoid Scavenger has vowed to keep the hounding persecutors at bay. Vi can't shrink away from the poison gas molecules suffocating her, everyone else is tarred (and no doubt feathered) or tinned or gelded or inertroned, and Lyle's nowhere to be seen. Which is why a few of us opined that he might be the one to get the group out of this. Someone else said, "No, think Superboy's tactile telekenesis!" Nobody (at least, nobody whose posts I read) thought about Cham, upset over what the Scavenger has done to his buddy Superboy, shape- shifting out of his crystalline prison to knock the Stone out of Scavenger's hand and into Lu-orange's. Of course, Brainy's still mondo pissed at SB and, for some reason, thinks the Kid's going to attack him again (why?) so has rigged himself a personal force field. I can only assume the ff's purpose is to reboot something from past Legion continuities, yes? SB gets on his good side immediately by flattering him (12th level intelligence and 0 level social skills, I love it) and asking for his help in calming the unruly mob. This precipitates my favorite panel of the issue: SB asks, "Can you think me out of this Valor mess? Is there any way to make it secret again?" Replies Brainy, "Well, offhand... I can only think of seventeen," as SB and Cos share a wink. Brainy and SB make ready to return to the 20th century, SB to his home and Brainy to pick up XS (and good luck to him, he'll need it). SB comforts Triad by urging patience. Wow, never thought he had it in him. Lu looks up, teary-eyed, and then plants a HUGE smacker on SB's lips. Wow, I had to fan myself after that panel. :) "I guess one of us was right about you," she smiles. Very lovely. It's so nice to see L*'s and their friends not snarling at each other. While Brainy fixes a slight malfunction, Cos gives SB one of Sidne's L* rings. Gim's less than happy (what bug is up his behind?) but the others all smile, and Cham even sheds a tear as his buddy departs. So, what did y'all think? Writer: Ivan Velez, Jr. This Issue's Firesign Line: "Yeah, here's a red hand!" Here's what I thought: First off, as Milestone readers know it's Chaykin Golden-Age-Nostalgia Cover Month, and this one hearkens back to CAPTAIN MARVEL, JR. #7 by Mac Raboy (whose niece Sue Raboy is a good friend of ours and my husband's former boss, but I digress). I forget how much I adore Chaykin (I mean, I blocked out how much I can get into his art because I've just seen him draw so many trampy-looking women) until I see something like this. It's really keen; the smile on Virgil's face is precious. And incongruous, because Virgil has very little about which to smile in this issue, having just discovered (as Static) that his buddy Larry Wade is a drug dealer. Dusk, who's been helping Static capture the bad guys since last issue, asks if Static needs any help; Virgil declines, turns to Larry, sees a gun pointed in his direction, zaps it and suggests very strongly to Larry (in a very small voice) that he ought to get the hell away while he can. Dusk quizzes him as to where his perp is; Static yells at her "He got away! Okay?!" Dusk is somewhat dumbfounded, but has enough of her wits about her to give the undercover cops by her side a good dressing down when they diss Static. They had it coming; she just has it bad. Virgil ain't feelin' so hot either, as we see him sitting on his bed and crying (good for Milestone, showing these tears; can we please assume the "boys don't cry" garbage is laid to rest for good now?) as he realizes that Larry had been ready to shoot him/Static. He won't even take Frieda's call; she's apparently not doing so well herself. Next day Larry pays a call on his drug boss - big mistake, which we could all see coming. Just like the consequences of this visit are telegraphed as well. We then see two pages of what I can only assume is Virgil's dream, featuring loads of blaxploitation movie references and lots of things with big, sharp teeth. Yeah, I've had those teeth dreams myself. Nasty things. Glad the sequence is only two pages. "Next day at school... a real cheerful morning." Frieda's pissed. Virgil's depressed. One of their circle of friends (I'm sorry, I forgot the name of the guy dressed in green this scene) makes a snide comment about Larry, and Frieda goes ballistic. She confronts Virgil, who doesn't want to discuss the matter. That evening at Daisy's, Virgil is a million miles away. Daisy is very understanding for someone with whom Virgil has yet to share his secret, and bids him goodbye as he goes in search of Larry. This scene is well set up for Virgil just happening to come upon Larry, as it were. Frieda decides to do some investigating on her own, and checks out Larry's house, but he's not there of course. Larry's sister Adina has just turned 13 (although she's drawn more like an 8-year-old) and is still full of enthusiasm and hope; Frieda's about tapped-out on both. Dusk has glommed onto Static again, of course. He'd rather she weren't around again, but she's determined to catch the perp that got away (thanks to Static). As soon as she confronts Larry, however, so does the bossman's thug, guns a'blazing. Dusk throws open her deflector shield to protect him, but takes a bullet in the side, in a 2-page splash whose apparent purpose is to also show off her ass for some unknown reason. I like Ivan's writing here, as I've liked it on all the STATIC work he's done so far. Even though the story's somewhat predictable, it's well told and plotted. I am not, nor have I ever been, enamored of Wilfred's highly stylized art, though - Frieda and Dusk have the same drawn-out, elongated face, and... I dunno, maybe it's the coloring, which seems a bit muddy here and there. It just feels like something isn't matching up. So, what did y'all think? SIMPSONS COMICS #12 Script: Rob Hammersley & Todd J. Greenwald This Issue's Firesign Line: "So climb on a board! We're going inside!" Here's what I thought... Well, I think this title's starting to rebound from the loss of Steve and Cindy Vance, but it has yet to reach the Vances' high watermark in terms of writing. It's fine for younger kids, and every now and then there's a joke at which the rest of us can smile, but far less often than there used to be (I really miss those Nixon references). This issue concerns a biosphere, so of course there are lots of biosphere jokes. And I don't care what anyone says - three years from now nobody will remember what the heck a biosphere is, but some gags will never be dated for me. :) Through a fluke (Homer changing a 0 score to 100, a plot "twist" which I don't know if even the kiddies would buy), the Simpsons tie with the Flanders family to test out the new Springfield biosphere, straight from Sweden with way too many rubber parts that pop upon impact. Ned's family is, of course, well equipped to survive, but nobody thought to give Homer a guide, and he's too stubborn to ask Flanders for help. That's pretty much the plot, and you can guess the variations on same. Homer overcomes his stubbornness and goes on to save the day, which I suspect everyone has also guessed. But it seems pretty obvious that folks above a certain age are no longer this comic's target audience... The flip-cover WHITE-KNUCKLED WAR STORIES, starring Sergeant Seymour Skinner, probably the most anal-retentive soldier to serve in "the 'Nam," gives us "Spare The Rod, Spoil the Grunt!" Script: Scott M. Gimple Eh. Cute in places, draggy in others. Never got into war comics, so I have no idea whether this is a good parody or not. All in all, the title's still decent enough for me to pick up, but the writing isn't yet what it was under the Vances' direction. So, what did y'all think? |
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